CHAPTER 1

Tone Loc is dismayed. The women at the club don't seem to notice him, as if he were a Mr. Cellophane. In his mind, this can't be right, because he is a skilled rapper and he is dressed in the finest clothing.
He notices some kind of love guru at one end of the bar, surrounded by admiring women. Loc decides to ask this sage what his secret is. The mystic reveals that it is not his award winning personality nor his physical appearance, but an elixir with strong aphrodiasiactical properties. The mystic calls this potion, when served in liquid form, "funky cold medina." Tone Loc is intrigued.