REGULAR NICKNAME MASTER LIST

Any workplace with regular customers leads to nicknames for the regulars. My workplace is a little above and beyond, over the top, and off the blinking hook. Are some of these nicknames mean? Perhaps. But they are useful for code identification so the employees can communicate information about people back and forth.
* Indicates that the nickname was christened by yours truly!

REGULARS WHO HAVE BEEN KICKED OUT AND THEIR NICKNAME MIGHT GIVE YOU A CLUE WHY
Stand Up and Pee Lady (one of my favorite souvenirs is a note from Mo informing the staff that "Stand Up and Pee Lady" has been permanently kicked out)
Rat Face Bastard
Blue Tooth
Filthy McNasty (as reported here:http://teakrulos.blogspot.com/2008/03/hotel-pharmacy.html)
Piss Pants
The Witch
Crazy Christian Lady(as reported here:http://teakrulos.blogspot.com/2008/06/god-tells-me.html)
The Player
Miss Fish (also known as Bobblehead)
Freak Show
The Golfer (for threatening the waitresses with a golf club)
White Power Santa Claus (this nickname was actually passed on to me from the fine folks at Beans and Barley and I instituted it here.)

CELEBRITY LOOK ALIKES (# in front of ones who also fall into previous category)
Rasputin
Columbo
*Frankie Four Fingers (named after a character in the film Snatch, because he also lost a finger to the mob for his gambling debt)
It's Pat (the androgynous Saturday Night Live character)
#Edward Scissorhands (a schizophrenic heroin addict who resembles the Tim Burton created character)
Sheneneh (named after the Martin Lawrence character on the show Martin)
*Count Floyd (a vampire-like italian named after the SCTV character)
Young George W. Bush (looks so much like him, I'm surprised no one has whipped a shoe at his head)
*Col. Klink (named after the "HOOOOO-GAN!" shouting nazi colonel on Hogan's Heroes)
Dumb and Dumber (a couple named after the Jim Carrey/Jeff Daniels comedy)
Number one son (named after Charlie Chan's son)
Captain Ahab (eye patch sporting regular with huge yellow fingernails)
Moby Dick (huge fat dude often sporting a "tail" made of a string of toliet paper hanging out of his ass crack)
#Jeffrey Dahmer (kicked out for generally creeping out everyone)
The Scream (named after the painting by Edvard Munch)
*Gimli, son of Gloin (named after the axe wielding dwarf of the Lord of the Rings)
Mumbles/Mushmouth (This marble mouthed individual has picked up two nicknames. Mumbles is the incoherent mob stooge from Dick Tracy, Mushmouth is the equally hard to understand member of Fat Albert's gang.)
*Abbie Hoffman (named after the activist and Steal This Book author)
*#Skeletor (named after the bony He-Man nemesis)

IRONY
"Skinny" Vinnie (He actually weighs 600-700 pounds. Write up coming soon.)
The Beauty Queen (don't ask)

YOU KINDA HAVE TO BE THERE
*Fuzzpass (asks for a fuzzpass instead of a bus pass)
Dinner Man (always orders the dinner special)
The Seal People (I have no idea)
Mr. and Mrs. Gopher
Sock Monkey Lady (brings her sock monkey in and feeds it soup)
*Lawn Gnome
Double or Nothing (always orders two seperate glasses of soda and uses two ashtrays)
*Moss Man (has hair that looks like moss)
The Big Cannolli (big fat italian dude)